that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
