Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
