what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
