if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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