Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
