We named our party play list daddy issues
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
