Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
