Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
