Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
