i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
