somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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