the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
