It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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