She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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