Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
