I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
