i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
