i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
