And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
