He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
