Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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