your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
