Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
