Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
