i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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