Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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