okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
