okay pat passed out under dana's car
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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