Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
