is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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