alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
