I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
