We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
