How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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