either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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