You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
