do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
