So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
