Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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