Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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