That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
