i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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