i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
