We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
