Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
