I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
