I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Are we still banned from the library?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
