My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She said her name was "party"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I did not marry a roomba.
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