thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
