1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
